My three answers:
1) I feel like I'm carrying a heavy load on my back. I'm trying to live in obedience in the ways I feel God wanting me to live. I'm changing the things He wants me to change and pressing in to the call He has for me. I am trying to set an example and bear fruit, in obedience to God, but also for others around me that I want so badly to get it, and I feel a heavy load on me. Should I be carrying this heavy load, probably not, but I know my friends see my actions and I want them to see that enough is enough it's time to step it up and I feel like a play a part in this with Jesus. But what if I mess up? What if I fail? I cannot compromise...
2) I struggle with the work load that I have right now, 23 units is really taking its toll entering into the last month of school. I have a desire to read the word but sometimes I look at the word and I want nothing to do with having to read it or pick it up cause I feel like I'm overloaded with reading the word. I can't bear to read another passage. Is it wrong to feel this way? Probably, probably not but I hate feeling that I can't read the word because I've read to much already...
3) I love what I do and the position God has put me in at my church and in regards to leadership. The other day I was just thinking about being mindful of things that are taking place and observing the importance of why we participate in certain things. I don't want to do church in a routine fashion. I want to be mindful of the words I'm singing, the scripture I read, and the cup and the bread I eat and drink of. I don't want to take the Last Supper and not even think twice of why I'm doing it. I want to remember the blood that was shed for me, the body that was beaten of a king, and the repentance that brings forgiveness and peace with God as I recognize my need for the Savior. Especially even now with Easter coming I want to be mindful, I want to really think about what happened in these last days and though I may never fully comprehend all that happened I want to remember... Connect.
I don't think I can ever fully comprehend all Christ has done for me until I see heaven for myself and see the all glory that He left so that He could come to earth and be rejected in every worse way possible...
